Ever wonder why things happen? If not, then just stop reading. This will be way over your head. Go watch cartoons.
Why did real estate values suddenly climb to record highs the past few years? Why did interest rates drop so low allowing so many average people to refinance and get access to more cash than they had ever previously seen? And more importantly.
Why did it stop all of a sudden?
The answer is – someone wanted it this way.
Now I'm not pointing any fingers at the government or blaming the government or insinuating that the government is responsible in any way shape or form (the government did it). But that's only because I don't want men in black to come assassinate me in the middle of the night. I hate assassinations; especially when they happen to me. It's one of my biggest pet peeves. Being assassinated. Unless they send a ninja. That would be cool.
But all undeniably true and irrefutable conspiracy theories aside, it is obvious that the market is somewhat controlled by the United States government. And I mean somewhat in the sense of totally and completely 100%. The U.S. is a proverbial control freak. Is there a proverb about control freaks? There should be.
I love this country. A LOT. But it would be nice if they would take their hands off of things every once in a while and let us pretend to be free for a smidge of a nanosecond. But hey, it's not my country. Wait a minute, yes it is. I forgot. Ok, now I'm pissed. Someone hand me a picket sign.
My point is simply this – someone thinks you've made enough money in real estate…and it's time to end the party.
You think the media blasted out their never-ending “sky is falling” stories for no reason? Someone was basically sending you a message –
The show is over. It's not safe anymore. Go do something else.
Did it work? Did they scare you out of the market? Did you jump back in the rat race like a good little boy or girl? Did you get in line? Huh, little lemming? Did ya? Huh? Have you ever had lemming soup? Delicious.
I saw it coming. All the negative press surrounding the real estate market was the first clue. Especially since those “reports” were while interest rates were at record lows and people were still buying. I was so mad because I knew what would happen. It would work. People would believe it and get scared. And they did.
First of all, stop being such a scaredy cat. Scaredy cats are annoying. And smelly. Remember the song Smelly Cat by Phoebe Buffay on the sitcom Friends? Good. I have nothing at all to say about that song. I just wanted to make sure you don't ever forget it.
My point is – stop watching the news. It's stupid. You're better off watching cartoons with the guy from the first paragraph of this article.
In other words – create your own reality instead of taking all your cues from what everyone else is doing. Everyone else is a freakin' robot fully programmed and brainwashed by that same “someone” we mentioned earlier. That “someone” may be Suze Orman. I'm not totally sure. She looks suspiciously like a hostile space alien so she's definitely suspect in my opinion.
I mean, let me ask you a question; if no one would have paid attention to those stupid news fabrications (I mean stories) and just kept on doing what they were doing, do you honestly think the market would have stalled or regressed. Of course not. We are the market.
I have good news for you. Especially for all you rehabbers, realtors, condo converters, pre-construction investors, and landlords. Yeah you. You're all suffering right now so you may as well admit it. “Hi, my name is John, and I'm a recovering Realtor. Please help me.” Say it!
The good news is as follows:
I just saved 15% on my car insurance. Just kidding. With my driving history, that will never happen. I recently got a copy of my actual driving record and one of the (many) infractions was “driving on the sidewalk.” If that's not funny, I don't know what is. That particular infraction was a couple years old and I honestly have no idea what that is all about. I wish I could remember though because it sounds hilarious.
But we don't have time to talk about me right now. Let's talk about you. And the good news. One more time –
The good news is as follows:
My students and I are making just as much money in real estate right now as we always have. And you are free to join us at any time. How do we do it? Very carefully. That's all I'm sayin'. Very carefully.
I would venture to say that our elite group is the only one making any money right now buying and selling real estate. I know it for a fact actually. We are the only sector of the real state “investing” community that makes money no matter what the market is doing. Sounds fun doesn't it?
It's fun in our land. Magical even. We don't give a rat's ass* what “someone” wants the real estate market to be doing. We just keep right on making money. And we do it by buying it really really cheap and selling it really cheap. Buy really really cheap. Sell really cheap. Get it? We buy with 2 reallys (one of which is italicized so that you can easily see that it is leaning slightly to the right) and sell with 1. We all on the same page? If not, just read this paragraph sixty seven more times. You'll get it eventually. Don't give up.
In other words – we wholesale real estate. And we do it without ever taking title to the property, without ever spending a dime, and without ever using our credit. Joy!
I mean, it just makes sense doesn't it? To make any money in a market you have to sell something people are buying. Duh. Well, people aren't buying retail real estate right now. So that poses a serious problem for realtors and rehabbers, doesn't it? Guess what people are buying lots of? Wholesale real estate.
When do the rich like to buy? When the market is up or down? If you can't answer that then I'm going to have to ask you to go join the cartoon watchers please. I recommend The Simpsons. They buy when the market is down. Actually they buy all the dang time, but especially when it's down.
When my students and I get a hold of a good property we have it sold in a day. One of our properties recently sold in two hours. Beats 3-6 months on the market doesn't it? I have severe A.D.D. people. If it doesn't move at the speed of light – I'm not involved. I'd choke myself to death with stiff nylon if I had to wait 3 months for a property to sell. So whoever likes fast money you have found your personal Pied Piper. Follow me. And start collecting checks.
How do we do it? Don't have time for that now. It's easy. I'm sure you can figure it out. If not, give me a call. I'd love to help.
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